I don’t know about you, but where I come from, there aren’t a ton of good Muslim men to choose from. So when I was trying to get married, I thought that the Internet would be a good way to meet someone. Now, this was before all of the eHarmony commercials were running on television. All I had were AOL and Yahoo instant messengers, and one or two Islamic marriage sites that were filled with people who were only interested in me for a green card (seriously!). But now that single Muslim women have Myspace, Facebook, and all the other social networking and matrimonial websites, it would seem that finding a husband would be much easier because there are so many places to look. But I realized that all of the single Muslim women that I know who have tried to find a husband online are either still single or they ended up meeting their husband offline.
So, tell me, do you think that the Internet makes it easier to find someone to marry? Have you tried looking for a husband online? If yes, what was your experience like? If no, why not? And what are your tips for Muslim women who are looking for a husband online?
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Single Sisters : Do you look for love online?
143 thoughts on “Single Sisters : Do you look for love online?”
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I’m not at that stage yet and Inshallah I never will be, but its something I have considered.
The only thing that’s stopping me is the lack of trust in people are who they say they are and there’s no way to verify with a discreet background check like you can online.
Salam,
i support ur point. people r totally different from what they say they r, but again one just av 2 trust his/her instinct.
maa salam!
what you think about marrige ?
I meant offline!
I didn’t exactly go looking for love online but it kinda found me online, met my husband of almost three years on one of those said social networking websites. I am fortunate alhamdulillah to have met such a wonderful man on, who would have thought, the internet! Having been in a few failed relationships prior to the fateful meeting, all I can say is do not discount the chance of meeting your soulmate online :) be careful of course, be smart and don’t just take things at face value and trust your instinct, if he makes you feel uncomfortable online, he’ll most likely be a creep offline. I know of at least 6 happily married couples who had met online. But I also know of a lot of people who prefer to keep relationships online as separate to their offline life (much like regarding anything online as virtual) so one person would end up hurting. It is up to you to make that call, to distinguish between what is real and virtual when it comes to love. Allahu ‘alem
check out my blog at […] and links to its sister blogs :) salams sisters
I tried the online thing a few times. Its not easy because you can’t tell someones true intentions. Do they like you for you or the photo of you that they see? Some just want to date or marry you just to come to the US. Its just easier to find someone in your everyday life.
Salaam! Online “dating” is a pain! But then again, I find every form of “dating” to be a pain lol. I’ve been trying to get married for, well, ever! I’m on about 10 Islamic dating sites and my sisters (1 in particular) likes to point out guys that I might be interested in…I never am lol. I even had a go with an Islamic match-maker. Cultivating online relationships is difficult and can seem near impossible so it can be very disheartening. Its hard to judge when/if someone is lying about who they are and what they’re about. Its much easier to type the talk than it is to walk the walk…and many guys have figured that out and have taken to the world wide web because of it. All this said though, I’m still on those websites, and I’m still checking them every couple of days. I have faith that if I do my due diligence, Allah will bless me with my husband when the time is right. And I’m not trying to miss any viable oppurtunities!
Oh lol please excuse the spelling in my last post im very sleepy and it was 3am in the morning when i read this. allah bless you
contact me if possible
Life itself is a risk let alone love. Give me a trial and a trial will convince you. Ma salam
I have looked online and I have met some decent brothers who weren’t a good match for me but might make a good match for someone. I know 3 muslim sisters who met their husbands online. I wouldn’t use facebook to meet someone, I use those sites to stay in touch with people I already know. I will continue to look online but I am taking a break now. I really feel like I have no choice but to look online because the number of available brothers in my age range is so small.
Well I met my husband through youtube! And hamdollilah I couldn’t have wished for better, even though I wasn’t looking for love online, it was a coincidence. One of my friends met her fiance through stickam.com in the chatroom Islam Talk, they are such a cute couple and I could suggest sisters going there, as the brothers in the chatroom are very humourous and respectful, who knows, you might find your other half.!
Good luck :)
Salaamaualikum!
I actually did try this once. he approached me on one of the said sites and from there we made it strictly business! notified my family, and we were planning to marry come this summer. everything was great, he was planning it all out, working extra to take care of me and everything and it felt sooooo right, i made istikhara 3 times! in the end it failed though, he sent me a TEXT message telling me he wasnt ready to get married. HA! alhumdulilah for that sign, he dragged me 3 months with my family involved just to drop that through a text. lol so never again!
me2!!!
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks
i you agree with me i will make sure that you will not regret it,and please so me your love.
laddy if you agree with me i will be happy please i want to marry you i need you please you my phone number is +2347069225534 PLEASE MAK SURE YOU CALL ME AS MUCH AS POSIBLEAN MY EMAIL IS TOPEDAMI@YAHOO.COM BYE FOR NOW.
Assalaam alaykum,
I’ve found the perfect website for finding Sisters & Brothers in Islam and even find the perfect husband, it’s Umma United (http://www.umma-united.com).
It’s a kind of facebook for Muslim men & women. I recommend it!
Here is another website you guyz can check out. It’s different from all the other match making websites out there and it is affordable.
http://www.halfourdeen.com/
:)
sisters please help me. i have fallen in love with this guy who is 1 year younger than me. he is also not muslim but he is about to convert. i am soooo scared to tell my parents that i met him online. they have now introduced me to this mix race guy who is nice. i said he is nice but now my parents are talkin about marriage. and i can’t be with two people. i thought it would be the islamic thing to do if i just told the guy that i have fallen for that it is over. but he wants to become muslim. and what kinda image of islam will he have if i did that. sisters please please help me i am really scared and lost
Husaina sister, how do trust a non-muslim guy from the interent? i mean you dont even know what he’s really like. i have a friend that has the same problem as you, wallahi. like that same problem. how long have you been talking to this guy? do you know that he might be someone that is just made up. you might disagree with me but sister i might not know you but you’re my sister in islam and i care about you.
take care sis.
if you wanna talk just reply cuz i helped my best friend that has the same problem as you
Quran 2:165 translation
And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah . But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah . And if only they who have wronged would consider [that] when they see the punishment, [they will be certain] that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.
the above should help you solve the “I’m in love part”. Oh and yes you can have a line of men to chose from, there’s nothing wrong with that.
If the guy wants to become a muslim, you can give him that verse as well and also let him know about quran 2:214. Oh and by the way, if he wants to marry you… he should speak to your parents, and you can make it clear that if your parents reject then your parents advice is something you consider of value.
Also note quran 3:175.
I feel for you sister. I was in that situation (in love with a non-muslim) not too long ago. And to be honest noone ever gave me as much support and respect as he did. It didnt worrk out for me the first time – he backed out because he got scared. But now he wants me back and is saying he would convert if i take him back. So I still dont know what to do. I guess my advice to you is if he is willing to convert, make sure he does it with the sincere intention and not just to please you or your parents. I know how devastating it is not to be with the one you love. Its sad that we both got into this ssituation in the first place. But if you think his intentions are true and that you can be happy together, give him a chance. It will be hard with your parents if they dont understand at first.. But hey, if something is good its worth fighting for. Just be strong and be good to your parents and keep trying to make them understand in the nicest possible way. With me, I finally got them to accept it after almost a year of trying, but then he backed out. And now I dont know if I should take him back either. Hope this helps
Asslamu aleikum
dear sisters i strongly urge you not to pursue marriage with a non mumslim.
I can understand you fell in love and sometimes we can’t help who we fall in love with.
I guess i’m saying this because I was in a similar situation 5 years ago,I fell in love with a non muslim guy,I couldn’t imagine life without him our love for each other I thought was so deep.I remember thinking how unfair it was we couldn’t marry.
I urged him to convert to islam because we wanted to be together,he promised me he would.however it wasn’t sincere he was just saying that so we could be together.We got married it took a long time to convince my parents.we have two boys together but
We are no longer together,he is not a muslim and I fear for the future of my boys.I try to bring my boys up in an islamic way.We run away from him so he can’t find us.I guess i did that so my boys wouldn’t be influenced by him.
I guess i should of thought that before I married him and decided to have children with him.however the damage is done which is why i urge you 2 girls to think about this carefully.once the damage is done its hard to get out of.everyday I regret the mess I put myself in and my boys.so please think about this before is too late ,it might hurt now but it will hurt allot more if you marry a man who isn’t muslim.He found us now and our case will be taken to court.I fear what will the verdict be.I hope he will not get custody of my boys.
ma’ah salama
your sister in islam.
hello dear sister u will accept me a brother
“But now he wants me back and is saying he would convert if i take him back.”
If he converts, he would only do so to be with you, not for the sake of Allah. Personally, me I would never involve myself in a relationship like that in the first place. It’s risky and not permissible for us anyway.
i real thanks 4 this advice……..we r proud …2 be muslim
Salaam sisters, as far as my understanding goes, I agree with Nadira on this one “If he converts, he would only do so to be with you, not for the sake of Allah” (and Allah knows best). But Nadira, sometimes you can’t help who u like…esp in today’s society. its difficult to live all cut off from ppl of different religious backgrounds. U sound like a very strong girl. Mashallah!
All i can say to Azra and Husaina is to pray for patience and strength from Allah. That’s the key. Its sad =( but girls do the right thing…u must’ve heard ppl say “don’t walk into a relationship hoping to change someone”. well they say that for a reason =)
and i know u already know all this…sometimes its good to hear it again from someone else.
I don’t agree. I think its great if a brother finds the blessing of islam, and if these girls introduced them to Islam, good on them. It’s obvious that the sisters want to do the right thing, otherwise they wouldn’t have mentioned it. I think we should all give them some faith that they would have it in them to see whether these boys are honest or not. If the guy converts and becomes a practicing Muslim, then why would someone say that he is doing it for the woman? I think its a bit too hard to do all that if you dont believe in it. If the boys are really interested in learning about the religion, suggest to them that they speak to an imam. The only way to know is to give it a try
A?SALAAMALAYKUM
dear fathima 1st if a non muslim is converted muslim then he is married a muslim girl its f9 but 1st loving then convert in muslim ………….its difficult and we can guess he will be the right 4ever…so plsssss try 2 avoid love 2 any 1 …..B,cuz we r born 2 love ALLAh ALLAH RASOOL (SAW)………..
And in my community i see people convert to Islam almost on a weekly basis Alhamdulillah. If these boys see the truth and beauty of Islam, who are we to say they accept it only for the sake of a girl. Its a little hypocritical to say we should spread the word of Islam and yet if someone does it, even if it’s preceeded by a mistake (we’re all human after all), then we say you can’t change a person (or “don’t walk into a relationship hoping to chanege someone”). It does happen. People convert all the time. Just do the right thing girls, pray to Allah, and obey Allah. They have to convert for themselves and for the sake of Allah, not just to be with you
Thank you everyone for your advice.
I don’t think I expressed myself clearly though. I don’t know about Husaina’s situation. But in my case, the day we met he said he would convert FOR ME. I said NO way (because I know he has to do it for himself) and went back home (we don’t live in the same city by the way, he’s a 10hr drive away). But my sister gave him my number so he started calling me and we talked. He seemed really interested in Islam and since then he’s been talking to his Muslim friends and I believe they took him to speak to an imam. And as time went by we spoke every day and saw each other a few times over the span of a year and yeah, we fell in love, what can I say, it happened. And he was very respectful (a lot more than a lot of ‘Muslim’ brothers around here). But this time last year we broke up (don’t ask me why, its complicated). But yeah, just before Ramadan he called me again saying he’s ready to convert, and that he had made a terrible mistake by letting me go, and that he wants me back.
But don’t get me wrong, I now its haram to have a relationship with a guy (let alone a catholic one). And I ask Allah to forgive me. But at least I can say it never went physical. As I said he was the most respectful guy I know. I live in a place where even Muslims have surrendered to this western lifestyle – sex, alcohol, dating etc etc. And then I meet a great guy who’s treating me the way I should be treated. But around me I see Muslim guys going out with girls and doing all sorts of things. And I don’t want to one of those girls. So that’s why I got into the relationship. I’m not blind, I know its wrong. But when I compare him to the kinds of guys around here there’s not much choice. Especially if he wants to embrace Islam. I haven’t said yes to him and I don’t know if I will. I am hoping Inshallah to take him to my imam where I live and that we can all talk together. I don’t want to make any more mistakes.
Azra,
I am jumping in here to say that you should leave it in Allah’s hands. He’ll show you the way if only you ask. So do your salaat and ask Allah for guidance.
On another note, I also see where you’re coming from with this. I married a Muslim guy and it turns out he was every bit as Western as you could get. Even some of the non-Muslim men I knew back then were more respectful to me than he was. Let’s just say that booze, cigs, hash and fast women were his lifeline. When I prodded that this is not Islam’s way, he said I was a bore and that we live in this century, not the Middle Ages. I can totally see how a non-Muslim man can show better respect to you. I have 3 cousins who have converted their husbands and brought them to Islam, so yes, there may be hope there that the path for this guy to reach Islam is through you.
I can only tell you to pray, and that when we ask something with a pure heart and noble intentions, Allah never lets our pleas go unheard. May Allah be by your side throughout your dilemma.
A?SALAAMALAYKUM
dear Asra 1st if a non muslim is converted muslim then he is married a muslim girl its f9 but 1st loving then convert in muslim ………….its difficult and we can guess he will be the right 4ever…so plsssss try 2 avoid love 2 any 1 …..B,cuz we r born 2 love ALLAh ALLAH RASOOL (SAW)………..
we can’t judge any RASOOL (SAW)………..ummat like that its wrong r right .we should proud that we r momins .we should pray 4 RASOOL (SAW)………..ummat..ALLAH may Hidayath us from every sin….realy u r the lucky person u r save from Haram..u must thanks ALLAH…..
if u real love ALLAH then u wil be near 2 ALLAh mercy………..pray & pray with the feelings of ur heart………u never love anything in this World
Yeah i definitely give you credit Azra for seeing what was wrong. so many us go on without even realizing our mistakes. And u r rite abt soo many of the guys and girls being whatever (sex, drinking) and May Allah help me, i dont wanna be with any of those guys or be one of those girls. Azra, may Allah bless you with strength and patience! Ameen =)
its soo nice to hear from Fatimah that ppl convert to Islam so often in her community! Allahu Akbar! I guess since i am normally surrounded with muslim folks, its unfortunate but i haven’t experienced much of that.
girls, getting back to the whole ‘finding someone online’ thing…its a bummer! But my best frnd found her husband through facebook and they are alhumdulillah happily married…so there IS light at the end of the tunnel lol
Sister Fatimah. I think we clearly disagree on this issue. Actions are based on intentions and the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). One is invalid without the other.
I’m saying this because I have seen some of my close friends go through this relationship thing with guys. Muslim brothers who said they would become practicing if they would be together. And it turned out very ugly. So, imagine a non-muslim.
The way I see it, if I get into a relationship with someone (a non-muslim) and he converts because of me. I started something with haram (against the Sunnah), so what makes me so sure that Allah will accept my intention? Or that He (Subhana ta’ala) won’t punish me for it during my marriage with the guy? Because clearly, I disobeyed my Rabb by disobeying our Rasul (pbuh).
nadira i agree with you.lets no take this thing lightly.the prophet said no matter how common a haram thing becomes it wont change it from haram to halal.
u r rght ….we love we do romance the root 2 hell v r making……..y we 4got the v r Born 2 love ALLAH ALLH RASOOL (SAW)
those of the sisters that know my stituation, i have decided to let him go. i thought it would be for the best i didn’t want him to enter islam just 4 me, because it’s not islamic and i will feel selfish 4 doing that. but now my parents have arranged a marriage for me with this muslim guy. i have met him, and he is really on his deen marshalla, but my heart is not there i am trying to forget about but i can’t i feel depressed and i don’t know what to do. and he is really upset and sad now, and it hurts to know that i made him feel like that. sisters please help me
hey husaina dont give up and read my comment i know its hard to find someone in a western country but you will ishallah i will pray for you sister as i believe you deserve happines.
salam girls,
i believe meeting someone online is not a bad idea but be carful you might find some idiots and perverts online so for the safe side my theory is to try to prolong showing your photo as long as possible to determind if the man is not shallow and that he just really wants to understand you more.My older sister has recently married a converted englishman that is really nice and do you know how he converted?well it was because he admired my sisters modesty and morals that he decided to discover the religion islam which he fell in love with before falling in love with my sister.Now he prays and fast and does everything according to the book and he is part of my muslim family.So sisters keep your hope on finding a willing non-muslim suitor that will convert and i tell you the award with allah will be great !(plus some men like the idea of the higab as it proves that you are willing to show onl your beauty to the man you love and are going to marry).
me2!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks
shadwa are u suggesting that i hold him and we both fight through it. untill he becomes a stable muslim. i would love to do that, but my family is also the issue, first they are not too keen on me being with a white guy. secondly he is still young he lives with his family. they want a man who has a big job who fianancially equipt. all those stuff i also have to take into consideration
Husaina,
I feel for your plight. I’m not trying to be all high and mighty here but love does happen after marriage, you know? The man I’m currently married to, he’s my second husband, and after the womanizer I had as the first (he was Muslim and my own choosing too, lol), the second time when I was introduced to this man whom I didn’t love but with whom I felt I could get on, I took the chance.
It may sound simple what I’ll say, but I believe strongly in this – say Bismillah-hir-rahman-ir-rahim before anything you attempt. Allah will never let you go wrong then.
It’s been 8 years since I remarried now, and I can tell you our love is not like the one I had when I fell in love with the first guy. It is lots stronger, not at all fickle, because it developed not through feelings but through commitment and a desire to make things right.
I’m not in your shoes, so I cannot tell you what to do. But think fo Allah – He’ll never let you go wrong.
I see your problem ,in our family this was a big issue! my mum was like no its wrong hes english its not right 2 yrs before they married. y dont u wait untill he does stabilise himself 4 u nd rly introduce him 2 islam because u need 2 giv him a condition !!every time u do try to convert him u will b showered with sawab so give it a shot but a the end if he doesnt really care about islam nd hust u marry someone ur family is happy with nd never go against them. my sister had 7 suitors b4 her husband so its not the end.o and also pray 2 rakat salah istikara where u leave the choice to allah to show u the right choice.
badalic sister and i understand your situation inshallah allah is with u.
Asalaamu Alaikum,
When I finally decided that I wanted to get married, I didn’t know where to start looking! I was all alone, living with non-muslim family members, and the only muslim family I do have live out of the country!
I found singlemuslims.com. This website shows profiles which allows people to write what they want in a spouse. I read through these, adding things to my list (yes i had a list) of what I wanted in my own spouse. Eventually the website made me sign up otherwise I could not look anymore.
Without realizing it, I had so many responses in just a few hours! Subhanallah! Two days later I met my now-husband. Alhamdullilah, he is what I always hoped to have. Gentle, honest, funny, and practices his religion according to the Qur’an and Sunnah. Right away we knew we wanted to get married! We just had amazing chemistry!
My advice to others is to know what you are looking for. You HAVE to otherwise things will not work out. Since I did this pretty much on my own, I wrote a list so that if a man didn’t fit what i wanted (and i didn’t feel like I could accept him for his differences), I could forget about him and continue with my search. No emotional ties.
Another piece of advice is that if a man will not talk to your Wali (guardian who gives you away..such as your father, grandfather, or Imam) or if he does but you can tell he does not want to…then ditch him. You want a man who will be on the up and up. Your relationship needs to start out on the right foot! My husband talked to my step-father the first day we started talking, Alhamdullilah.
Common sense is a must. If you feel uncomfortable talking to the guy, that’s a sign to GET OUT QUICK! Listen to your gut instinct, do not ignore those red flags!
Most important, always pray that Allah (SWT) blesses you with a pious loving husband, and never lose faith.
wasalaam,
AlabasterMuslim
AsalamOalekum
Muslim woman is precious .. she is like a hidden pearl .. its not appropriate for her to start finding her husband herself , this job is given to her Wali to find her a suitable match. Atleast for ,as long as ,she is not ,god forbidden , a widow or a divorced .
Internet is a very useful medium yet its a very big fitna’a also…its becoming difficult to keepin away from it.
Most of the males come on line just for making women friends ,i guess. For marriage they can find plenty of women offline. So be careful .
The lucky ones find their soul mates anywhere , offline or online and d rest has to go through the test of staying alone :) (may be for some more time )
Love ,companion ship and security which come along d marriage package are women’s requirements yet we are given this life just to worship Allah swt and to please Him not given dis life just to getting married.
Wish u sisters Best of Both d worlds inshAllah !
Lonleysoul
Actually that was pretty good advice, but even though we wern’t given this life to get married marrage is still half of faith and is something that is reccommended for all the muslims by the our Rasul (saw)
…and also personally i feel dat spouses shud be like minded , u may do dawah else where… to sisters, family, friends etc but this one gentle man shud , ideally , be a practicing muslim himself . cuz u know how much rights r given to your husband, and if he himself is not a practicing fellow how cud he help u or guide u on the path of Islam ?
Jazakillah khayr :)
salam,
how can i have a lovely wife to be with for my life
please if any sister is intrested mail me your picture,age,and location.
ma salam
asalamOalekum
why there’s a silence in d blog ? :)
carry on sisters !
wa aleikum salam,its a bit boring wen there are no new blogs to discuss on.hav an idea?
Lol!!!!!!!!! :)
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), PLEASE for the love of allah :)
InshaAllah i will dua for u
mariam i meant do you hav an idea of a topic we could discuss about coz i agree it is so quiet around here.
Yup, very quiet. The ladies in charge here said they’d b back with topics since thr mag was launched in November, but it’s been a month now and nothing
for your quwestion i have not try it. but if you are voletiar to marry me i am also seeker of beautyful islam ladiy!!thank you for your polite answer.
for your quwestion i have not try it. but if you are volentiar to marry me i am also seeker of beautyful islam ladiy!!thank you for your polite answer
salam Sisters,
I remember being shocked when I found out about islamic dating sites and all, but when I found out they can be done in accordance to the deen, its more understanding. I personally wouldnt venture towards that because I feel men can be very deceitful in real life and even more online…I need to sense a reaction, a change in tone, etc to determine truthfulness! :-D
It’s nice to be here even as a man, largely unintentional though.
Now I know women are as fearful as men when it comes to choosing life partners. May Allah continue to guide us. Ma Salam
Salam!!!!!!!
It is nice to know that there is at least some guy that understands how most of the sisters out there feel. I’ve noticed that it is so hard to find a person that fits your standards when it comes to character and DEEN. The person’s religious stand point seems to be the last thing on someone’s ‘list’ when they want to get married. I think this is the main reason why it is so hard for sisters and BROTHERS to find someone that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. People make it hard on themselves. They focus more on the amount of money they make and the way they look when they are searching for a spouse, when what they should be asking themselves is how close is this person to Allah? Will they respect and love me for who I am? Will they support me? Can I marry this person knowing that they will be my life long partner in following the deen of Allah and raising our family?
Sorry I feel like I’m babbling. Now I am addressing all the sisters on this blog that are having trouble with finding the ‘significant other’, you should reevaluate what you want in a spouse and make sure that you intentions are good. Most importantly make istikharah and ask Allah to guide you and inshallah Allah will guide you to the right path.
“Hold fast to the rope of Allah” and inshallah all will be well. I pray that all you sisters and BROTHERS out there that are having trouble with finding the right person, that will make you happy. And those of you that are already married may Allah bless you in all aspects of your life. (AMEEN!!!!!!!!)
I have a topic: WHEN DID U START TO COVER UP…DESCRIBE THE PROCESS
when i was in 7th grade, before i reached puberty..
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks
Salam i will dua 4 u
Life in general is a mission imagine trying to find someone to live it of with and can make you happy. I always thought that love is the most important part about a relationship and I have so much love to give but can’t find the right person to give all of it too. I have met a couple of guyz online and there is this one that i toke to the next level and we started talking to each other and all that. Its been a year now but I dont know sometimes I feel like he is talking to me just for fun or to get papers but than he always tells me about how he loves me and he wants to live back home not in US. He is nice and a sweetheart but than he is stubborn and so am I haha. Considering that I dont Know if I want to tell my parents about him yet because Iam not sure if Iam going to happy with him knowing that he doesnt like his future wife to work and he is SOO jealous about the smallest thing and I think thats going to be alot of trouble if anything does happen with me and him. I feel so bad in a way though cuz there is this guy thats somewhat family, that everytime I see him I feel like my heart is bounding so fasttt nd I just want to keep looking and talking to him ??? is that LOVE? cuz we used to tlk from like 12am to 8am every now and than tlking bout anything and everything but i would call him does that mean nething?? ALL that though we just talk about everything but US..he is just SO hard headed and 3ezit nafsu is like taking over him he wont take that step and I WOnt either soo IDK Wat to do?? there is also this one thing my parents think he is a bad influence and is a failure ..haha he kinda is but than he is trying his best to do wat he can to successed but the people around him dnt GIVE Him a cHANce and try to put him down and I think that he Can really do it if he has people to support him..THis is wat i go through other than the fact that everyday a new suitor is at my house asking for my hand and I dnt have a clue who he is and thats getting so annoying cuz they aalwayz have something wrong with them that makes me not agree or either my parents dont like him..LOVE is BLIND ,,TRY TO KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!
Salaams Sister
Please be very careful. We are owned by no one other than Allah. With the brothers jealous streak it is a recipie for disaster for sure. It may seem cute or pleasing in the beginning but eventual it could turn very ugly. Please make Istakara and do whatever it is that Allah brings to you. We often want what we want and we get the signs, the red flags but continue to ignore them. Then when we get what we get we lament and are so confused when if we had stopped not blinded by our feelings we would truly have not gotten ourselves into the mix. As I speak to you I also speak to myself and all the other sisters as well. May Allah make it easy for all of us who wish to be married and bring us the best of husbands, Insha’Allah Ameen
SUMMAAMEEN
Innocent ur comment somewhat alarmed me. I found my muslim exhusband in internet. I think I fell in love for the wrong reasons, cause my heart knew sth was wrong. Well he is always saying that others are putting him down. Now I know he does it himself, noone else. He is looking for a wife again online and telling again how others treat him bad starting from a exwives and friends ending up with collegues and boss at work and how loving, tender, caring person he is, a true familyman. I was praying him coming practising muslim, still it turned out to be my fault he isn`t. A man should guide his wife. But i ask how could I fallow a simple man by his word when his lifestyle is haram. His stubborness won, I had to escape to save my life to someone who respects and cares and fallows the right path. Someone who always accuses others is far too often quilty himself.
Just some thoughts about some previous topics. What I find wrong with many muslim men in west is a male centered mixture of rights from muslim religion and western lifestyle, a wife´s nightmare. These men are extremely jelous even their wives are real muslims. No need to wonder why. I have seen far too many muslim (married) men living according western lifestyle in many ways more than western men themselves and what is worse they always find excuses for their behaviour even from Qu`ran.
So, in this case I cannot understand why is respectful, truthful, caring and attentive not-yet-muslim man worse than non practising muslim man with haram lifestyle? Of course it is much safer for a muslim woman to marry a good practising muslim man. But finding such in here as in many western communities is almost impossible.
Finding a good spouse in internet is a lot talked about topic even among nonmuslims. i dont think the chances are worse than in real life. Just have to take time to get to know the person and his intentions.
I ahve to agree with what you say. We cannot be adamant about this or that – every person is his won and a sum of his own parts. Only Allah knows what’s in someone’s heart, and the only thing we can do is trust Him.
Western men – very true, some live worse lifestyles than non-muslim men, and they have so many ways of justifying themselves.
A good man is what you should look for, and then if he isn’t Muslim try to see if you can bring him to religion. That’s the true marker of a prosperous Muslim life – a man with like mind and ideas and beliefs.
Salaams
Without a doubt we bring to ourselves what we are most vunerable in. In desperation we may look at what is not for us anyway but we have the hopes that it will all pan out. But without a doubt that lies with Allah.
Don’t think for a moment that all of the men on the dating sites; Muslim or non-Muslim are just there to find wives. Some are there to get the green card, some are there to fleece us. We may come with the most honorable of intentions but not everyone is that honest and upfront about who they truly are. You can be whoever you want to be on line and no one will know the difference. Unless they are willing to submit to our Imam, Wali or Wakil’s scrutiny that is a red flag! What are you hiding? As women we must first and formost have a relationship with our Lord, then ourselves and can say we are truly happy with our lives we cannot expect to get the best of this world and the next as we ask for in our salat each day. I have been basically on my own for the last eleven years since my husband died. In the early days I could have cared less about finding another mate since I was dealing with the challenges of everyday life and raising my sons. I knew then and I know now that it will take a very special Muslim man to be in my life. Yep it is hard sometimes to come home alone and have no one here but the cat for company. However I do have some level of peace of mind as my children are grown and have their own lives.The one thing I do have is the sisterhood which keeps me going. We all need a support system and without them as well as by the Grace and Mercy of Allah first and foremost I know that I would be very sad all the time.
Whatever Allah brings to us He will also bring us through. Please don’t for a moment think that because you have a husband you will automatically be with someone who is on the Deen and will teach you anything. We are responsible for ourselves and have been given the choice to be so. We have to at least have the good common sense to know what our rights and responsiblilities are according to the Deen. We cannot rely on the man to tell us this. For we are encouraged to seek knowledge from the craddle to the grave.
Islam came to raise the status of women. However we often times give away our power to others in the mistaken belief that it will make us happy and give us what we want. We ignore the red flags and will get angry with others who attempt to tell us that this or that is wrong.This not to say that they are right or wrong but we also need to listen to what is being said and take what we can from it and leave the rest that may not suit us well. Because in the end you are the one who has to be pleasing to your Lord and we cannot speak to the motives of others who may or may not have our best interest at heart. Some times we have to be still and listen to what is truly going on within ourselves, make Istakarah and don’t look to get the answer we want. For what is for us will come to us and what is not meant for us will surely pass us by.
thanks…Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks
First off if you are going to go looking for your husband online you should know what kind of mate you want. Not just looking to see who clicks on you and hopefully is a good mate. And if you feel you may only be used for a green card or entrance in to America then look for a American Muslim in most of our states we have muslin communities. Then your can focus on getting to know them not yet dating learning the person and understanding if he is a match. Offline and online we can always take the time to know the person before we jump to the marriage stage because even in real life you don’t know if they are who they say they are. The same goes for us they don’t know if we are who we say we are so you are both in the same boat. I trust we all can tell when he’s falling for us or falling for benefit so no matter what you should get to know them well enough. You are talking about your future your children future so when going cyber love searching the key is to LEARN not rush or hope for the best. If he is overseas and it is REAL love there shouldn’t be any reason he can’t wait this i view as a Big Warning of you being possibly used unless you have spoken for many months or years with this person. Love is overtime not by a click of a mouse. many of us make the wrong choices i think because we see how easy it can be to find our dream man or even a descent husband however, sometimes love happens on it own not online. We do it a bigger selection and you are in charge ladies you are in charge so know what you want and know to LEARN. Yes i have gone looking for a husband online i very fortunate to find many good ones and any bad ones even ones that asked my hand as soon as i joined the chat room. So i am sharing what i have learned over time with my experiences i found not all oversea men Muslim men want to use you some do want to get things done on there own. And also it never really fails to give them a test of too to see where they on there normals thoughts lifestyle, this is not to judge them its to see a bit of who they are what what you can expect. The first step as i have said is to know what kind of mate/husband you are looking for weather it just be certain amount of money, religious as you are, honest, coming from a good family, he wants kids relate all this when you are looking for your mister right.
GOOD LUCK IN YOUR HAUNTING I WISH THE BEST
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks for the advice
stop pasting your message over and over again Lama
i think there is something wrong with me. i am a 19 years old and at the moment my parents are trying to do an arranged marriage. the thing is i don’t think it is going to work because I HATE MEN.
Allright Husaina – why do you hate men?
lol
its okay
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks…
i don’t know really. i feel intimidated by them. never really got along with that species of creatures.
Lol. That’s funny, but I’m not making fun of you.
Okay I think that’s ‘curable’. Just take your courage by both hands and try to talk to a suitor. Break the ice so to speak if you are introduced to a man. You are allowed to talk to him in such a context!
And hey, let me tell you what the men I know say – they’re scared of us girls, lol, so think of yourself in the driving seat seat, and they’re in the hot seat!
Lol!!!! :)
the blog topic is sooo quiet guys, i miss reading all your comments!
Im 22 years old and almost all of my friends are getting married. Im extremely happy for them, but just a teeeensy weeensy lil bit anxious for myself.
My parents, especially my mum, really want me to get married. My mum keeps nagging me lol and i have to remind her its not raining men. Its hard to find a decent muslim guy and in an islamic way as well.
I think I am ready to get married, but how do you know when you are ready?
Lol. Just thinking you’re ready is enough! I mean, it’s like a huge step forward and a commitment- if you cannot feel able to do it, then you’re not ready. Full stop.
Thanx Z. Now if i could just find that guy lol, but Allah knows best.
Nishi
You’re totally right leave all up to Allah
May Allah Guide you and all of us and help you find that special person!!!! AMEEN!!!!!! :)
Ameen shukran nawal :)
you will in due time inshallah
it is debatable topic and one has to be sure to evaluate what is being said is right and true. Afterall it is a tool to spread your message and there are chance of misuse and abuse.
i am also looking for a girl who is islamic and sincere but still uanbale to get one ? who is to be blamed boys or girls ?
both quality is scaricity. so lets try to look for the one we need
ask perosonal questions and incase of doubt request the other party to say that “ALLAH IS WITNESS TO THE FACT THAT ALL WHAT IS BEINBG SAID IS TRUE”
this will filter out the satanic elements insha Allah
may Allah protect us all ameeen
moslem sisters and brothers what do you wish for in life besides love and marriage. no offense to ask can someone pliz answer me.
Rahima, love and marriage aren’t everything! We should remember that we aren’t here on earth forever and to be good Muslims (not Moslems, sorry) for the Hereafter.
AOA sisters,
I just wanted to say that I’ve actually read the entire comments thread and it’s so interesting to hear the different perspective of sisters around the world. I am currently only 18 but I hope to be engaged before I finish my BA =)
But I have an older sister, so it would all depend on when she gets married…
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks
please make duaa, i made duaa for your sis
salam ,,i have a question not realeating to love or marriage i am a muslim girl in my family my dad’s side of the family is modern they don not wear hejab and my mom’s everyone of the women wears hejab my parents never forced me or my sister to wear hejab. so last year in the month of Ramadan i strated wearing hejab my family and friends though that i will wear it only for the month of ramadan but after ramadan was finished i was kind of use to the hejab and i dident take it off so now in my family i am the only one that wears my hejab no one els wears it and i feel like my family is ashmed of me and my hejab and when we go out some where if some one sees us together it feels wiord i look different form my family and some times my sister tells me that i wear my hejab to show off it kind hurts and i wonder what is thier to show off in hejab even in my work place the do not like it when i wear my hejab I AM SO LOST I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO? SHOULD I STILL WEAR MY HEJAB OR TAKE IT OFF FOR MY FAMILY I DONT KNOW? I AM SO LOST…
Elina,
I think that since they are your family they should support you in any of the dissions that you make, especially one that has to do with the deen.
If it isn’t true that you wear you hijab to show off and get attention then I don’t see why it matters so much what others say about you.
Your family is probably disapproving because they are jealous that you had the courage and the will power to wear your hijab. I know that they are your family and taht you love them but if I was in your situation I would disregard all the things that they say to you.
Wearing your hijab is your choice and something that you did for yourself not others. Your hijab is a sign that you respect yourself, and your family and friends should respect the fact that you chose to be modest.
I personally wear the hijab and I don’t like the weird stares that I get from people!!!!!!!
So you know what tell them to keep staring. WEAR YOU HIJAB LOUD AND PROUD. (may Allah help through you problem Ameen)
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks a lot
Assallamu alikum sister,
I myself can relate totally. I am the only Muslimah in my family and I think my town as well. I dont see or know any other muslimahs. My suggestion to you is to pray sincerely about it. Allah(swt) will direct you. No one else can. I myself have Christian family surrounding me on all sides. I wear hijab always now and they arent supportive of me being muslim and now that I wear hijab I just get looks and jokes about it constantly. I wear my hijab proudly because I know that it is what ALLAH (swt) has prescribed for me. So keep you head up sister. When ALLAH(swt) is on our side how can we fail.
Sallamz,
b. sista
Assallamu alikum
Dear,,,beaulsistatifu thank u so much for u r advise and now i dont feel i am the only perosn with this problem thankz again…
im food man sersh abouy good mouslm sistar
salaam,
okay guys i really really really need you guys help please
okay my sister is almost 30 and i want her to be help be happy and she cant find the right guy. so i decided to find her a muslim brother (husband).
so please you guys i really need your help
please!!!!
salaamz :)
Hey galz im in love so SO SO in love with a new revert to islam, hes scottish and im arab! my fam wont let me marry him! what to do?? what TO DO? HELPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Assalam o alikum
first do istikhara n pray to Allah and also start some wazefa..
i loved one man who recently convert to islam and he propose me for marriage we know each other from net only for one month there is some problem may be my parent will not allow us to marry but i hope they will agree inshaalh but i am worried becuse i think i do not know him enough and he is not answering my phone call if i call him at home he never did and he will disapear for 2 days and sending me message that he is missing me i am confused and i do not know how to know more about him he is keeping telling he loves me and when i am asking why his answer is vague please i hope one of you answer me how to know about him more i try to forget him and close this matter but i keep think about him i really love him and i prayed istikhara 3 times but i am worry
Assalam O alikum
sis just follow Istikhara results..n everything will be fine INSHALLAH
may ALLAH bless u..ameen
No comment
Im in love with a boy i know, he goes to my masjed. He is in our community. I know his sister, and my dad knows his dad (my dad was talking to me about his dad yesterday, how he is a good man). Mashallah this boy is very beautiful. He is from Palestine and i am from Egypt. I have deep love for him. I go on his Facebook all the time because i want to know more about him. He barley knows me, he knows my cousin and my brother. He knows my cousin a lot more. My friend knows him very well and she tells me everything about him, she even gave me his phone number so i can prank call him :) lol. We are still young for anything to happen, he is 2 yrs older than me and everyday i make duaa that me and him would get married one day and live happily together. We live in america :), i love him soo much
** if your reading this please help me by making dua that we get married, it wouldnt hurt to take 2 secs of your time :), thanks
Assalamu Alaikum!! Mashallah i love this sisterly bond going on wallah, so glad i found this website. You know inshallah Allah SWT will make things easy for you and for him as well Lama. Pray salatul-istikhara, if you haven’t done so already, and keep making DUA.
*****
I have known of this guy for about two years and I never said a word to him until his brother and his fiance (my cousin) came over for dinner about 4 weeks ago. Wallahi I have never seen such a loving, caring, polite guy in my life. I really felt in my heart there could be something, but i gave up on him thinking i wouldn’t ever get another chance to meet him. Then luckily a friend/family threw a dinner party and he was there. I seen him from the window sitting outside on a table and his brother walked in with my cousin he said salam and as soon I as i walked through the doors he stood up with the biggest smile on his face and put his hand to his heart and said SALAM ALAIKUM!! I really like this brother, I really do. but what should I do?? I prayed salatul-istikhara but I’m waiting for someone to interpret a dream that i had for me, but in the mean time help!!
;) Thank you!!
Dear friend,
Assalamualikum.
This is very good, but risky.
i have two words for this discussion: NO WAY
i like know a good women .
asselam aleykom it is good tiyem for meslim peopel pelies cotact me
salam i m new in this site want to know more abt muslims
asselam alyikom hi pelis contacte me for freind shep
Aslam o Alaikum,
A true Love makes a successful life.
And a honest & good Muslim girl make a successful Nation.
for real relation pls cantact me.
sajedullah@yahoo.com
971507767457
Asalaamu Alaikum Sister
I fell in love when i was 23. I though i was going to marry him and everything was would be wonderfully. I remember praying to Allah to guide me to the right path and figuring things out if he was the one for me or not, Since there was so much confusion in the relationship. It turned out he was not the one for me and everything became clear for me. I realized if i had married him i would be miserable and end up in a divorce. His number one problem was honesty. I thank Allah for making that decision of backing away from that relationship. I have not yet met the one special person but i have faith i will find him soon. Pay attention to your instinct it is crucial.
As for the online dating it is something that came to my mind. I have been contemplating wether to try it or not
ok maria why dont u give a trial too.
i mean why dont u give me a trial too
s.alkm.i have been through a lot of relationships and im sorry to say some were physical,i even went to the extent of marrying a brother behind my family’s back,our plan was to keep it hidden until he gat a good job,then h could come and ask for my hand in marriage bt things didnt go as planned,he had bad luck and kept going in and out of jail and i was always there for him,he was a good brother and prayed salah(tho he used to drink and smoke before),he started going for tabliq too.a year later,i couldnt,things didnt change and i asked him to give me a divorce.in the same year,i met a brothe on facebook,as we kept on chatting for almost a year,he travelled to come and meet me.i had given up on love or better yet findingsome1 who ll accept me not being a virgin any longer.but we met and i told him everything and he accepted me just the way iam.we have been together now for a year and he loves me.so,sisters,i think you can meet someone online,if its Allah’s plan.cozmeeting my man on fb was mos’def Allah’s will.im grateful for this blessing from Allah.
Assalamu alaikum,
You all shoudl check out practimate. Its the premier pre-marriage training service for both brothers and sisters. Top notch advice, down to earth teachers that know whats going on and reliable answers on every situation.
May Allah SWT make it a benefit for everyone. Ameen.
Wasalamu alaikum
I know a guy from online about 2 months ago and i just realised that i like him recently.Maybe becouse at first we just emailing each other and now we are more to chatting and discussing.i m still figuring out either he s the one for me or not.one more problem is he s syrian and i am not.both are muslim though.I also thinking about my mother ‘s opinion to marry people out of the country becouse my mom said language could be a barrier and i answered: Religion is the priority , mom not culture/language..wallahu alaam.please maybe u can give some suggestion/opinion……..shukran
No Way ! ! !
Its Haram (Point Blank Period) ! ! !
Your Wali is supposed to find your husband.
The responsibility of the Walee (guardian)
Question: What is the responsibility of the walee (guardian) of a young woman towards a man who has come forth to propose to his daughter?
Response: It is obligatory upon the walee to select, for the one to whom he is a guardian over, a suitable pious man whose (practise of the) religion and trustworthiness he is pleased with, as he (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
«When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied with asks for your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption», transmitted by Ibn Maajah and at-Tirmidhee, who said the hadeeth is hasan-ghareeb.
So it is obligatory upon the walee to fear Allaah in this regard, and honour the best interests of the one to whom he is a guardian over, and not his own interests; Certainly, he has been entrusted with the responsibility which Allaah has bestowed upon him, and he is not to require of the proposer (to the young woman) that which he is unable, such as requesting mahr above the common practice (rate).
And with Allaah lies all success, and may Allaah send prayers and salutations upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and his noble companions.
The Permanent Committee for Islaamic Research and Verdicts, comprising –
Head: Shaykh ‘Abdul ‘Azeez Ibn Abdullaah Ibn Baaz;
Member: Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Azeez Aal ash-Shaykh;
Member: Shaykh Bakar ‘Abdullaah Abu Zayd
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa.imah lil-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wal-Iftaa. – Volume 18, Page 46-47, Fatwa No.20062, Question 3
I am in absolute agreement with Atiya. Online dating or looking for love online is absolutely wrong. I mean what kind of people would do that in the first place? since when is it a woman’s job to look for a husband? Every Muslim should get married but it is their parents/guardians job to look for their future husband/wife, because they obviously have more wisdom and experience. I live in America and am a high school girl saying that I believe this is wrong! I cannot believe that there are muslims in muslim countries who do this. Pray to Allah, everyone, people are getting farther and farther away from religion and the truth. Especially those of you who say you have fallen in love with non-muslims, what kind of muslims are you? Muslim women are not even allowed to marry non-muslim men.
Noori,
Here is the problem: muslim women in western countries cannot find muslim men. In the U.K. there are a lot of muslims. In Canada there are not. It is not so easy to say, leave it to the parents they will find a husband for us. I am 39 and my parents never did that, because there aren’t a lot of muslims in Canada from which they can choose. So, I have to seek other options. So what do I do? sit back and wait for my 80 y ear old father to find a husband for me? I explored the possibility of marrying a non-muslim; i would have been happy if he converted for my sake only, but he couldn’t even do that! Can I tell you that I have never had a muslim man take an interest in me?
It isn’t so simple to say, don’t go online, don’t find someone yourself, rely on Allah, etc. Allah is all-knowing, but He does not dictate free will. A husband is not going to drop down from the sky for me.
U r right. Muslim site is the best way to choose right partneq
yes in the ideal circumstances your wali should find you a husband.. but what if you dont have muslim family members or if they are not very religous and as such dont want to find a husband for you? And you are a pious sister, but not everyone around you is… That was my situation. My father simply didnt think it was his job to find a suitable husband for me. You cant just give a blanket ‘no’.
I believe if you stick to the limits ordained by Allah then in some circumstances it is ok to look online. Thats how I found my fiance. We met online, talked online for a few weeks (no flirting etc involved), then I talked to my parents about him and we met him together. they approved of the marriage and now we are engaged and Inshallah we will marry soon. I pray that Allah will bless this marriage and keep us firmly on HIs path.
asalamoalikum
i wan suggestion in very odd
hmm do it loook weared to marry sm1 who is tall then u? like person is nearly 6 n girl is 5’2???
like hw it looks., in ur openion?
if u are very serious with that person? n that person is also serious?
comment wt it appers to others “height difference”?
do comment, honestly…it is odd issue, but serious.. me waiting 4 your replies………………………
sorry i forgot itz not related to topic,,..but still., gv advice
I don’t like it when these posts become nasty. Sure it’s the wali’s job to find you a husband and help you out and interview him etc but there is absolutely nothing haram with finding yourself a husband. Prime example? Khadija (radiya Allhu anha) proposed to the Prophet peace be upon him! Not the other way around. Also there is a hadith in Sahih Bukhari mentioning a woman who came to the Prophet peace be upon him offering herself for marriage. Would you wrong the Prophet and his Sahaba?
And Noori, we are not Allah ta’ala. We’re not on this earth to hate each other. These are Muslim women who have, mashallah, openly said that they have fallen into haram and repented, they are not arguing that what they did was halal.
i totally agree
Salaaam.
I would like to respond to the post.
I haveaccounts on 2 different online muslim dating website, all I get is people from different cultures and the ones who do email me are the ones who want a green card obviously.
I live in Canada, and the city I come from is no one near my age who can afford living on their own and that is religious enough. everyone’s doing shisha (qelyoon) and they find it a normal thing.
I come from a very educated family and I currently go to university (21 years old turning 22 soon) and I come from a very religious but very open minded family. considering that my father is a prof at a medical school.
I am too afraid to put up my picture on these sites for I am afraid that people who know me and my family will humiliate my family saying that I AM desperate for marriage.
I am also afraid to let my family know that I have met someone through online dating websites because I feel embarassed to talk to my parent about marriage.
TO be honest I feel so desperate in wanting a partner . I feel so ashamed of feeling this way, but I see my siblings who are older than me and are married and they seem like they are more happy now that they married.
and then when my mother talks to me, she tells me that I should get a degree before getting married because then I wont be tortured by disrespectful muslim men. as this is a trend happening with whom ever I have seen except for my brothers who are truly religious and that they care about their wife truly.
I am afraid to get married but at the same time I want a man in my life. someone I can share my life with. and I dont understand the people who usually propose to me through my family are always so demanding and that their family is really hard on you . they expect their daughter in law to act just like a 40 or 50 year old woman.
at the same time I feel like the guys who have been proposing to me though my family want the exact same thing. They all want a mother.
Some one please help me as I am in a crisis where I want to get married, but I am too scared, and that i feel down that no one proper is really interested in me.
I want a guy who is fun to hangout with and to be with. someone who has a good sense of humor, someone who is religious at the same time and really cares about their prayer and their beliefs.
and for some reason looks are so mimportant to me. bioogically I am iranian but I was born in europe and grew up in Canada.
Somebody please help.
Asslamu Alaikum! Dear Sis, in this life we all pray nd always hope for the best, am a muslim By religion i always try to abide by the rule of islam! but no one is ever perfect we made mistakes we seek for forgiveness nd Allah is all forgiving.
My name is Ibrahim am from Nigeria. Actually i was touched by you word.
iam an higher national diploma (HND) holder and presently iam in Nigeria
Assalamu aleikum sister,
Your post is the only one out of many in this thread that struck a cord with me! I am in a similar position 23 years old and facing the same “crisis” as you. I have never had someone propose to me any interest in me, but alhamdulilah I have realised what I wanted were emotional and physical desires of this dunya. I was not put on this earth for my desires but to worship none other than the merciful allah (swt) I am channelling all my energy into worshipping him.
If I do get married it is only a “bonus” of this dunya but what I truly want is to be close to allah both in this dunya and the hear after
Please reply to me (wow I sound desperate) I just want to make sure my message has gone across
Dear eageress
I understand what you mean. I think I gave up all those dreams… for nowI am just focusing on my schooling and obviously getting to know who my Allah is. :)
thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Asalam aleykum… sister Noori.. this one is for you. First and foremost say astaghfiru llah, it surely shows your lack of knowledge and understanding of issues of marriage and looking for a suitable suitor in an islamic manner. Islam allows using internet or website for single people provided it is utilised according to the shariah. there is nothing wrong with a brother or sister to search for his own suitor, after all, be assured not all people have parents or other elders who can do such important thing for them. secodly, Islam allows us and it is sunnah to find a suitor that one likes for him or herself, again within the shariah. let us be realist, in this world we live in today, technology has made things easy, but also, is it remains extremely important continue practisisng the sunnah in the Halal way. Allah knows best.
have not seen a muslim sister that mt her hubby on line. i know is possible, but am scared to try. though am a single mother av tried to get a good rlatnship offline but it seems am a bit out of luck. may be i should try on line. What do you think?
I was up until recently married to the man of my dreams. He was a practising muslim and even though I was very western we were happy.
Unfortunately, his family came between us and I am now alone and thinking I will never have a family of my own. I feel utter hatred towards the people who made him leave me and now think why did god do this to me? why couldn’t we just be left happy??
To those sisters wishing to get married to a muslim/non muslim or converted muslim – just do it as you never know it might work out or even with the best intentions it might not and god may step in and fail ur marraige without any rhyme or reason.
Grab the happiness however long/short it may last.
Good luck sisters!
Hello,
I am nearly 40yrs old and unmarried. A sin in islam I know!
But first my parents turned down marraige offers as i was studying, then working, then unsuitable suitors would come to the door.
Now i feel like i’ve missed the boat but really want the intimacy/warmth with someone so close to you. My parents don’t know any brothers who are similar in age etc so are now at a loss as to what to do but really wish to see me settled.
Can someone pls advise what i should do as really wish to make them happy and be happy myself.
LOL, I’ve to say the on the web dating or electronic dating has come a long way from the days of straight forward chat rooms. Much more and far more people are turning to on-line dating internet sites to screen possible dates.
I LOVE YUE
Quran 2:165
Someone here should make an article about this verse.
Interesting comments…..god has already made pairs!!! And time of marriage for every individual!!
We can just pray may time come as soon as possible and we all get married to right person.(ameen)
Your brother in faith…